Thank you all so much for the condolences and encouragement. It really does help to hear from those who have been touched by Bowie. This weekend marked 3 weeks without him, the longest I’ve ever gone. I miss him so much. I miss his utter contentment in my presence, paired with his enthusiastic willingness to go with me anywhere, unwavering for many thousands of miles. I miss his sprawling furry form in my lap, in my bed, in my car, in my life. I miss that big clown, King Bowie.
I’m sad but I’m happy too, happy he’s free of that tired old body. Happy he’s free. Through the tears I’m learning that he’s still right here. He lives on in his brother Dio and the hair in my soup and other forms less obvious. I put Bowie’s ashes in a tin that reminds me of my grandmother. Of course, the big dog barely fits and the lid won’t quite close. So I put a heavy Ganesh on top to help hold him in along with a piece of labradorite and a small river stone and a Chinese fortune that says “stay in touch, above all, with how you feel.” I look forward to releasing him on top of our mountain, when I’m ready. Spring feels right.
In the meantime, I’m skiing all over this place, imagining Bowie running free through the snow, on the wings of cheeky ravens, in the tracks of curious fox. This is a tough time, but I’m blessed to be weathering it in Big Sky. I’m living the most unexpected dream I’ve ever had here: after earning my EMT license this fall, I joined the biggest, baddest Ski Patrol team in the country. If you had told me two years ago that this would be my path, I would never have believed you. But skiing is believing and believing is something I’ve always done well.
Much love to you all this holiday season! I’ll see you in 2017!